Um… is anyone still here?
It’s hard to believe that I’ve been home for almost three weeks now. School is starting tomorrow, and life is getting back to the way it always is. But, my hiking gear still hasn't been put away, and I still haven't done this last blog entry. I think I'm trying to delay returning to normality. And trying to avoid having to write this final Te Araroa post.
This journey started as a challenge during COVID in 2020/2021, walking home from Cape Reinga. But at the end of that and each following section there was always a sense that I might continue the following year. But this time is different - my TA adventure has finished now.
Why? I'm still not entirely sure. My decision to finish at the end of the North Island started to crystallize after bypassing the Tararuas, so maybe there was some disappointment there. But I think it was more that I was approaching a big milestone, the end of the North Island. The thought of reaching there kept me going, and after four challenging summers it started to feel like the right place to finally stop.
As I've mentioned before, the TA has felt for me like a long series of goodbyes. But saying my last goodbye to the TA itself has been the hardest of all.
As I think back on my whole journey, I have a lot of questions that I feel I should try to answer. Why did I do it? What did it mean to me? What were the best bits? What were the biggest challenges? What did I learn? But I don't have clear answers to any of these. Trying to summarise it now, I can't come up with anything better than in my Day 80 post approaching Wellington: the TA for me has been about getting out and living my life, and about the passing of time, and about dealing with loneliness, and about doing things I never thought I could, and about goodbyes.
If there are two moments that best represent my journey, I guess they are the beginning and the end. I remember standing at Cape Reinga, about to set off, excited but apprehensive, not knowing what was ahead or if I could do it. And I remember walking up to the plaque by the sea at Island Bay, and touching it, and sitting down, and bursting into tears. There was plenty of scenery in between, some beautiful and some arduous. But I guess the TA for me was about my inner journey, even more than it was about the physical one.
It will be good to stop. Maybe next summer I'll spend time with Paul, or enjoy some shorter hikes. But I'll remember the TA, and I'll think about it often. This blog took a lot of time to write over the last few years, mostly from inside my little tent, but I'm so glad I did. It will be good to read back over it, and remember, and remind myself both of what I did and what I am able to do. And yes, I'll probably have a little cry again.
I also have my music. Now I'm back in civilization, I must see if I can put together my definitive Spotify TA Playlist. My musical choices are always a good insight into my inner world, so this would be as good a way as any to represent my inner TA journey. But if there is one song that captures the TA for me above all others, it is the very first one - Supertramp's Two of Us (the Live in Paris version!):
And I'm building dreams in a strangers land
Every time that I'm feelin' down
Well they pick me up and they spin me round
Tell me, where do we go
Tell me, where do we go from here?
When is man gonna find out
When are we gonna find out
What the universe
Is just waiting to hear?
Just as long as there's two of us
Just as long as there's two of us
Just as long as there's two of us
We'll carry on
OK, don't get me started. I'm going to sign off now. Thank you so much to all who have been following this blog over recent years. My Te Araroa journey has been a very solitary and frequently lonely adventure, and my connection to the people I care about has been mostly through this blog. Knowing that I wasn't alone was so important.
Time to get back to the real world. Goodbye, Te Araroa. And, thank you.
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